Oh, how he talks and tells stories! How long have I been standing here with him at this festival? And we go from one topic to another. Great humour! And he always goes salmon fishing, too! And he hates those uptight angler snobs. He drives an ancient Peugeot, swears by old flats, and loves the Doobie Brothers. And already, I find myself dipping one toe into a possible new friendship. My self extends a hand to the other self. And we want to meet again — for sundowners and to check out our fishing rods — maybe the women will come along too, and then we’ll have a meal together. And so it begins. So it always starts. Thank you, a new friend! And thanks to all the friends here now, who are like an enriched treasure after all these years. The ones I can always count on. We all are watching out for each other. Going through life with someone. Knowing someone better than you know yourself. Sandbox friends, school friends, university friends, business friends, ex-partners, and now friends-friends, Neighbors-friends. Each of these friendships, regardless of intensity, has its value. Friends are pure wealth.

In the sandbox or in the school yard, later in the scene club or the golf club — friendships happen at any age. A call on a Sunday afternoon “I just wanted to ask how you’re doing, how you all are” cannot be bought. Friends cannot be bought. Even the smallest gestures are priceless! And it is precisely these gestures that make up the whole greatness of the creation of friendship. In the café, he specifically chose the table where that one annoying waiter doesn’t serve. In a discussion where I get too loud and heated, he quietly nudges me. He turns up the volume on my favourite band on the car radio.

The smaller things are security promises for the bigger picture. And the coincidence that you even met in your life cannot be earned. A gift.

For this gift to endure, it takes many things. Sometimes work too. The most beautiful work in the world. Because friendships are relationships and, like partnerships, they need to be well-maintained.

If they are well-maintained, happiness, health, and life trajectory play along — if, for example, you manage to stay somewhat close orthographically as friends, you make it to a time when friendships become almost as important again as they were in youth: the time after children. Then, when the children are grown and leave the house. Suddenly, the field for friendship is free again. As free as never before. You come together like a band reuniting after years and stepping onto the stage of life again. Sure, you’ve also kept in touch through the years of parental leave and career, nurtured the friendship. But now the field is clear. A field where you still have so much planned. For yourself. As a couple. And: with friends! These total-together-again friendships have their very own strength because now you not only have youth in common, but also many new topics. You draw from the same wealth of experience. And — most importantly — you still like each other as much as you did back then and through all the years. Maybe even a little more. Now you know even more clearly what you have in each other!

And then there are female friendships! A very special chapter for itself. Because despite all the increased responsibility that men take on regarding children, women still have the most to do with those children in the end. And in most cases, they drift away from their friendships through their daily life as mothers. You rarely see your best friend, hardly or not at all because time is too scarce and exhaustion is often simply too great. Keeping the connection warm, using the gaps left by motherhood, and somehow giving oxygen to the friendship cleverly and with the firm conviction of how important it is, is an art. One that is rewarded: Once the children are all out of the house, the friendship volume knob is turned up again to the max.

Female friendships can then develop a depth that almost makes them like sisters. Women talk about more than men. They talk more intimately, openly, and boundlessly. Which sometimes, of course, makes it not quite easy because this closeness also increases vulnerability. A woman has few, but then almost only real best friends. A man has, besides best friends, also many buddies. When everything comes together in a group of friends, and you enter a new phase together — after children, after work, after family life — and now possibly in a smaller flat in the city — a paradise opens up. One that can be a real source of strength, inspiring and motivating. To things that you as a couple or individual would not have aimed for. And above all: You share your feelings, just like you did when you were 16. The golden core of a mature friendship. And a fountain of youth.

Friendships keep you awake. Keep your ears open. Give you comfort and security. Friends can turn strange feelings towards themselves and life into good ones. Friends can turn you around. From moderately happy to joyful. From insecure to determined. And best of all: being a friend! Being needed, giving, helping, supporting, and of course, producing a lot of nonsense and fun. The gift of life: friends. You have them and gain even more. And then hold on to all of them lovingly but firmly!

In this wonderful life.